


Over and Under

by prymalism (Priya365)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Growing Up (kinda), M/M, Slow Burn, Stubborn folks and shitty communication skills
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:02:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24498394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priya365/pseuds/prymalism
Summary: She couldn't refuse him, even after all these years. She couldn't say no. Part of herself hated the fact that she was such a sucker for him. The other part hoped liked a fool that he'd finally realize his feelings. And while she was a rational individual, all her common sense would disappear when she was around him, when he whispered things that made her heart flutter -"Rey," she felt his mouth at her ear, his arms tightening around her body, "Can I kiss you?""Yes," she breathily replied.Yup. There it goes, common sense out the window.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Over and Under

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! 
> 
> So I finally pulled the trigger. Here's my first fic. Looking forward to seeing what you all have to say. 
> 
> As I continue along, I'll start adding a playlist as I feel that music strongly defines parts of our lives and says out loud what we sometimes can't express. This fic will be representative of that (I hope). 
> 
> Enjoy!

# 

#### Prelude

  
The weather was warm in San Francisco. A good 91 degrees, which was uncommon in a Pacific city.  
  
Usually there was a breeze of some sort, rendering the iconic City by the Bay a good twenty degrees cooler than the surrounding areas. One could cross over from the inland counties, like Solano or Napa, in a full sweat and then quickly freeze as soon as they crossed the Bay Bridge or Golden Gate. It was an unspoken rule that one did not go into the city without a light jacket, regardless of temperature.  
  
Today, however, was the exception and Rey Niima felt the need to express her disgust and frustration to someone.  


Rose Tico  
  
**Character A:** Why is it so hot in San Francisco?!  
  
**Character A:** 91 degrees. What fuckery is this?!  
  


  
Placing her phone back into her old but trusty leather crossbody, Rey made her way through Union Square, doing her best to stay in the shadowed areas. She wore a pair of Nike shorts, the most minimalist sports bra that she could find, and the lightest tank top in her wardrobe. Her hair was placed in three buns, shellacked with hair spray to keep, a hairstyle reminiscent of her soccer-playing days. Her Ray-Bans were placed atop of her head, unable to be worn given the heat and humidity from her sweat. She really shouldn’t have left her condo, but it was necessary given that her first day at the University of California San Francisco was the next day. She had zero business clothing suited for her position as a staff clinical psychologist, having done her internships and externships in jeans and t-shirts at small practices on the East Coast.

 _Time to rack up some credit card debt,_ she thought to herself as she wiped the sweat from her brow. 

Her phone pinged and Rey stepped off to the side to pull it out.

  
**Character B:** OMG I'm fucking dying right now.  
  
**Character B:** I should've sprung for the expensive apartment with the AC. 😭  
  


Rey laughed. Air conditioning in San Francisco wasn’t a thing…until a heat wave came through. It was the one thing she had insisted upon when she reached out to a realtor. It HAS to have air conditioning. Don’t even bother putting it on the list of potential places if there’s no HVAC system, she had written in her email.

  
**Character A:** I'm at Union and I swear I'm melting.  
  
**Character A:** Quick dinner at my place tonight? I have AC...  
  
**Character B:** Bitch, text me when you're done and I'm THERE.  
  


Rey smiled and as she put her phone away, crossed the street and entered the Neiman Marcus store through the west entrance, beelining straight through the perfume and makeup counters to the escalators. She hoped to get at least a week’s worth of outfits in one shopping trip, having no desire to venture outside if the record high temperatures continued. One and done and that’s it. No more shopping for at least a few weeks. I can relax and—

A deep laugh caught her attention. It was warm, sultry, familiar.

Rey looked around her escalator, hoping to figure out whose laugh was triggering a sense of déjà vu. 

Dark hair. Dark, chin-length hair. 

_No._ No fucking way.

The head adorned with the dark hair turned and looked up, locking eyes with her. “Hey,” he said, clearly speaking to whoever was talking in his ear through his AirPods, “I’ll call you later.”

Rey took a deep, shuddering breath – _“Ben.”_

He smirked, surprise coloring his features. 

Rey stumbled, not realizing that she had reached the top of the escalator. 

And fell hard on her ass.

Way to go, dumbass, she thought to herself. 

Ben Solo smirked. “I see your grace hasn’t improved.”

She couldn’t help herself. Really. “Oh, fuck you,” she growled out, as she scrambled backwards and moved to get up. 

His smiled widened and held his hand out. “Lucky me."

### 

Ben insisted on dragging her to the Rotunda, despite her being severely underdressed. Rey knew what she looked like in her relatively minimal athleisure outfit, especially when standing next to the immaculately dressed Ben Solo. She kept her eyes forward, doing everything possible to avoid noticing the looks she just knew she was receiving from the high-society housewives of San Francisco. 

“Is this table suitable, Dr. Solo?” the host asked, sweeping his arm grandly toward a table with a view of Union Square proper.

“Yes, this is fine. Thank you.”

“Miss, if I may—” the host started, moving to pull the chair. 

Ben cleared his throat. “Actually,” he began, “it’s doctor. She’s a doctor.” 

Rey threw him a glare that screamed _Seriously?!_ The host, as expected, immediately began sputtering apologies; all that was left was for him to kowtow to Rey. She sighed, quietly thanked the man, and took her seat, shifting her gaze to the square.

“So.”

She glanced at the man across her. “So.”

“So, it’s been a while. How are…things?”

Rey raised an eyebrow. “Things? Really? Well, Ben, things are great. How are things with you? Waiter knew you by name. Come here often?”

Ben smirked. “Same old, but even better now that I’ve run into you,” he answered as his eyes twinkled, “and yes, I do come here often. They have a really good crab melt. Plus, when my mom’s in town, she always comes here first before heading back to the house.”

Rey gave him a tight smile. “And how is the Senator?”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “She’s fine, or at least that’s what the Chronicle seems to imply,” he responded, his voice a bit tense. He leaned back and crossed his arms. “But I’m pretty sure we’re not discussing Congressional nonsense. I am curious as to what you’re doing back in California. You said you’d never come back and last I heard, you were killing it in DC.”

Rey huffed, annoyance quickly turning into a low simmer of anger and hurt. _Of course_ he remembered that, but she bitterly wondered if he remembered the context behind her words. Why she swore she’d never return, why she stumbled out of his hotel room in tears, her heart broken in two when he deigned it necessary to tell her that he was engaged…after— “Do you remember why I said that, Ben? Or did you conveniently forget?” Rey hissed.

She tried to keep the venom out of her words. She really did.

Ben blanched, his eyes wide and his breath seemingly caught in his chest. He exhaled and looked at his hands. “No,” he said quietly, “I didn’t forget. I was a dick, Rey. That night. That – definitely not my finest hour and it was probably my most epic fuck up to this day.” He looked up. “If it’s worth anything, I’m truly sorry, Rey. You have no idea how long I wanted to reach out to you to apologize. I’m hoping that maybe I can start now?”

Rey took a shuddering breath. It had been years but looking at him now – his greenish-brown eyes imploring her to believe his apology. _You can always tell if someone’s honest by the look in their eyes,_ he had said. Once upon a time, she loved those eyes, loved the honesty that shone through them, loved how they gazed upon her when she spoke, when she laughed, when she first told him that she was falling in love with him – 

_– when she blissfully fell apart in his arms, in his bed –_

“No,” she said, surprising even herself at how hardened her voice sounded. 

Ben looked alarmed. “No?”

Rey sighed deeply and pushed away from the table, stood up, gazed down at Ben. “No. I can’t do this. I know it’s been four years, but what you did? That broke me, Ben. Do you understand that? It broke me,” she whispered, tears starting to sting her eyes as Ben’s face crumpled. 

“Rey, I – “

She shook her head. “No. I can’t, Ben. I know we have a lifetime of history, but the last time I saw you, the last time I cried over you, I swore that I wouldn’t put myself through this again. I deserve someone who’s willing to move the sun and the moon for me every day of my life, someone who actually wants to be with me and doesn’t use distance as an excuse for their cowardice,” she said, the knot in her throat making it difficult to swallow. 

_Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry._

She started to walk away, but then stopped and turned halfway to look back at him. “You want to know how things have been for me? I was _miserable._ I was horrible for months, torn and ripped apart. I was in love with you since I was eighteen, praying for the day that you’d love me as much as I loved you, hoping that you’d realize that we were endgame,” she struggled to keep her voice level, emotion threatening to overwhelm her. Rey could see that Ben’s eyes were shining with unshed tears, his facial expression that of one whose heart had finally broken, one who had many deep and painful regrets. 

_It’s too late,_ she thought to herself, the knot in her throat growing and growing.

Rey did her best to maintain eye contact with him, her voice finally cracking as she repeated, “I loved you. I would’ve done anything for you. I would’ve waited for you.” Her tears flowed freely now. “I was so in love with you and so heartbroken that it nearly killed me. And now? I realize what an _absolute_ waste of my time you were and what a fucking fool I was.”

Ben started to stand up, his actions and expression desperate. 

Rey only held her hand out to stop him and shook her head. 

With one last look, she turned and walked away. 

_Welcome back, Niima,_ she thought bitterly to herself.


End file.
